A Great Wedding: How you feel, not how you look!
Weddings are one of the biggest; financial, emotional and spiritual events a couple will plan on their long-lasting journey together. However, photo nerves are real. And wedding day anxiety is really no joke. You might be wondering if I can make you look like Jennifer Lopez? or Brad Pitt? or even just your cousin. Instead, I just want you to be you on your wedding day.
I'm hoping this article helps you to remember that when you're worried about not having a six-pack in pictures, there will be pictures of you after the wedding, too. Your children and grandchildren will come to know you as you are. So you might as well be the person they recognise on your wedding day. Those things said, below I’ve listed 5 ways to ensure you become a badass on camera!
1. Be present
First things first, good photos require presence and presence requires you to be feeling a wealth of emotions. My advice to all new Brides & Grooms is to worry less about how you're going to look on the big day and worry more about how you're going to feel on the big day. Retain some ounce of confidence that your perfect and absolutely banging body will do just fine on camera!
2. Embrace the engagement
If I had one piece of advice, I would say, don’t let your wedding day become bigger than you. Be yourself. Your body, mind and soul are beautiful enough for somebody to choose to spend eternity with (willingly) - so you don’t need to make big changes to your body, mind or soul for any 'big day'. You already know, but sometimes it's nice to be reminded. Everyone has an opinion, but the only opinions that should matter are yours and your SO. Grooms, please express your thoughts. Brides, please share your thoughts as well. Let every day of your engagement be as big as the big day - a beautiful chapter of your life that is sometimes so short and fleeting, you blink and it's gone. Celebrate it! Often, looking ahead at the wedding, you forget to be present, so stop, take a moment. Being present is the most romantic thing you can ever do!
3. Compromise
This isn’t Instagram. And if it was, it would be grateful to you for sharing such authentic, real, content. The flowers you want might not be in season, your budget might not stretch to that of your friends or families. Your final cake may not be what you had in mind. Your family might decide things you wish they didn’t. You may feel shame, and embarrassment, even anger sometimes. However, in the end, all that will matter is - that you made financial, emotional and spiritual boundaries together - which set you up for a lasting marriage. A good photo is made by the moments that are filled without regret. Choices will be made throughout, and you will both need to make peace with them. The picture of a blushing bride and the Dashing Groom you had in your mind may be holding you back. Life isn’t Instagram. But if it was, your final wedding is a dream somebody else will have to compromise. Embrace it.
4. The tough ones & traditions
Sometimes relatives and relationships are more complicated than we’d like. Messy. Non-idyllic, downright wrong. And sometimes they’re just missed. And when we don’t have the person walking us down the aisle that we’d envisioned, or the friends to fill the space or the shoes of a Best man or groomsman, we can have an identity crisis. You might get upset that you’re not where you thought you’d be in life at this stage or feel selfish being happy when there has been death or disease present in your life. You might have lost the support of people closest to you and it’s easy to lose trust in yourself, or your partner, or feel like you’re not ready for the marriage ahead, with a head full of doubts. However, on your wedding day, it’s important to remember that you’re deserving and you’re the decision maker. You can ALWAYS say no. You can also tailor your special day to exactly what you need it to be and change the format for your day. Write your version. Traditions can be made by whoever decides to make them, and existing traditions that might have made sense years before don’t necessarily make sense for you today. Think about it.
5. The big day, YOUR way
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking there’s a right and wrong way to do things. Trust your gut. It’s the boundaries in your marriage that you’re fighting for. So let this big day go YOUR way! If you don’t want to go into debt to have everyone eating food they won’t like, don’t. Organise a BringYourOwn picnic or brunch. If the venue charges too much for corkage, toast with orange juice or mocktails. Having pictures like everybody else's won’t matter as much when you look back on your album and all you can remember is how much you hated champagne, but paid £3k for everyone else to toast with it and not drink it. It's hard not to, but don’t get caught up in a game of Simon Says. Instead, do what you’d do. If you don’t have £5k to spend on a watch for your husband’s present? Don't. Gift manuka honey to your honey-loving husband, with a note saying ‘you’re sweet’ instead. If your best men don’t wear cufflinks, get them a personalised bottle opener from Etsy. It makes more sense. The people who support you will emerge. Other people might scoff, some might clap, some might be inspired, and some might be jealous they didn’t think of that! But when you look back at your photos, you’ll remember the details that you decided for yourself, and your confidence and conviction in your decision-making will show in the pictures. Everyone else will be there to celebrate you, so you should be too!
Doing this may not be a cure-all for anxiety, but it can certainly help you live your best life.
If you have any questions or would like to change an aspect of your day, send me a message.
Go get ‘em!
Amber
xoxo
